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Midnightpearls

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Midnightpearls

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1622
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Midnightpearls : I'm just a random girl, one of many...

Midnightpearls's page activity

Visits<b>wrongmove</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:20am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:17am<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:01am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:11pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 11:07am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 9:22am<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Thedudebroman</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 10:57pm<b>jcxxll93</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 5:02am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:11pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:22am<b>tigger2007</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 5:35pm<b>Random_Red</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 2:13am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:38am

Midnightpearls's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Midnightpearls's badges

Midnightpearls's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45610) - you deserved it (2604)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39080) - you deserved it (2605)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58677) - you deserved it (4005)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56293) - you deserved it (12308)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57850) - you deserved it (9067)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45020) - you deserved it (5638)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50177) - you deserved it (14187)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81727) - you deserved it (4069)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49177) - you deserved it (5074)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49030) - you deserved it (9623)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

#20754769
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46371) - you deserved it (3763)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45625) - you deserved it (3156)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38206) - you deserved it (3258)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53874) - you deserved it (12431)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61805) - you deserved it (4393)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)



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