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Midnightdawn's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML
by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
by gymgirl / 05/05/2011 at 9:47am / Hong Kong / Health
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 12:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by peepee. / 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 10:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by meowmeow / 09/21/2010 at 12:38am / Australia / Health
Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML
by Thomas / 09/20/2010 at 3:16am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
by nemi / 08/31/2010 at 6:33pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
by Hobbsie / 08/29/2010 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by E or / 07/13/2010 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML
by tallwoman / 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm / Denmark (Arhus) / Health
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML
by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, a customer threw a cup of cole slaw at my face at the restaurant I work at for "not serving… Today, I was working my job as a cashier and a big, sweaty, bald man came through my till. When the… Today, I got bitched at for 6 hours on a roadtrip by my mother. I asked her not to smoke while my 4…