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Midnightdawn

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Midnightdawn
  • Town/Country : Jordan
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1008
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Midnightdawn's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (11393)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML

#16752985
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32576) - you deserved it (3679)

On 06/19/2011 at 10:17pm - kids - by Heartbroken (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (55302)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (45552)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53274) - you deserved it (9959)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

#16136002
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (8718)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm - love - by TheNerd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (14224)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57570) - you deserved it (4486)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (40581)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20587) - you deserved it (2980)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39744) - you deserved it (6655)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

#16063941
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (5835)

On 05/06/2011 at 1:15am - work - by Tyler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML

#16063448
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30960) - you deserved it (3934)

On 05/06/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Koda -

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

#16060289
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/05/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by parkingisawesome - United States

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

#16057186
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (26621)

On 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)



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