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Midnightdawn

Offline (the 04/18/2014 at 2:48am) | Search for a member

Midnightdawn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1485
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Midnightdawn's page activity

Visits<b>billyz77</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 7:54am<b>SteveD92</b> - the 07/25/2011 at 7:12pm

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Midnightdawn's favorite FMLs

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (2716)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (3772)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

#17635803
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32981) - you deserved it (5909)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (4769)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (65849)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

#17460856
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (5715)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31196) - you deserved it (5264)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (3813)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (3767)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (3767)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (6649)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34865) - you deserved it (6867)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (51282)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States



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