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Midnightdawn's favorite FMLs
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by RequilaRainbow / 01/26/2012 at 2:34am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
by lolwut / 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 12:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…