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Offline (the 11/21/2015 at 11:42pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6135
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 47 posted

About Metzler31 : 19 years old from Philadelphia

Metzler31's page activity

Visits<b>Quendolin</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:14pm<b>aamree</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:21pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:38am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:38am<b>StupidUsername89</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 7:08am<b>maxhenrynel</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:08am<b>odod777</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 3:59am<b>clairelaliberte</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:17am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 12:17pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:30pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:07pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 8:50am<b>aschmille2</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:37pm<b>HeroofWinds1</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Shannonbena</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:15am<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:25pm<b>LifeKeepsGoingOn</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:26pm

Fucked!<b>StupidUsername89</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:08pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:19pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>nickster3</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:31pm

Metzler31's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Metzler31's badges

Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16884) - you deserved it (106937)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (102091) - you deserved it (21719)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45433) - you deserved it (8717)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:39am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35871) - you deserved it (152255)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (73664)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (66758)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (133993) - you deserved it (7646)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39389) - you deserved it (94140)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (119210)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML


I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (44028)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58435) - you deserved it (15077)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (42233)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8126) - you deserved it (66023)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47325) - you deserved it (3719)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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