Metzler31

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Offline (the 05/31/2016 at 8:59pm)

Metzler31

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6580
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 47 posted

About Metzler31 : 20 years old from Philadelphia

Metzler31's page activity

Visits<b>vsus98</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 12:15pm<b>_kevinkim</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 11:04pm<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 4:28pm<b>JetCyclone27</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 7:21pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:06pm<b>Host2phats</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:48pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Montjo</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:56pm<b>carpenoctern</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 8:06am<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 2:34pm<b>danzam98</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:02pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:41am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:01pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:35pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:35pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:23pm<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:14pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:31pm

Fucked!<b>StupidUsername89</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:08pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:19pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>nickster3</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:31pm

Metzler31's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Metzler31's badges

Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

by googoogaga / 03/13/2010 at 10:13am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 18 year old daughter comes home telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had ICarly happy meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

by icarlymom / 03/05/2010 at 1:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

by condiments / 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

by deadandwasted / 02/20/2010 at 3:20am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

by Kelso / 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

by snorlax / 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 12:58am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation