Metzler31

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Offline (the 05/31/2016 at 8:59pm)

Metzler31

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6582
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 47 posted

About Metzler31 : 20 years old from Philadelphia

Metzler31's page activity

Visits<b>vsus98</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 12:15pm<b>_kevinkim</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 11:04pm<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 4:28pm<b>JetCyclone27</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 7:21pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:06pm<b>Host2phats</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:48pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Montjo</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:56pm<b>carpenoctern</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 8:06am<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 2:34pm<b>danzam98</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:02pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:41am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:01pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:35pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:35pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:23pm<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:14pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:31pm

Fucked!<b>StupidUsername89</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:08pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:19pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>nickster3</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:31pm

Metzler31's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Metzler31's badges

Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

by romedizzle / 11/24/2010 at 4:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

by wtf / 08/15/2010 at 8:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

by Thepunchline / 08/11/2010 at 5:19am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

by Bellagirl / 07/19/2010 at 3:10am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

by BikerBuddy / 05/13/2010 at 9:11pm / Kids

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

by FASHlONABLE / 04/05/2010 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy