About Metzler31 : 17 years old from Philadelphia
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43999) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (3455)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (43836)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11187) - you deserved it (25864)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12921) - you deserved it (19882)
Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (5463)
On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (2286)
On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25382) - you deserved it (12262)
On 05/15/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Username - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (2459)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by rockyrocket (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you deserved it (15992)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24044) - you deserved it (2225)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (5025)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (3121)
On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (3100)
On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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