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Metzler31

Offline (the 08/25/2015 at 2:14pm) | Search for a member

Metzler31

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5903
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 47 posted

About Metzler31 : 19 years old from Philadelphia

Metzler31's page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - 23 hours ago<b>aishah77</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 8:50am<b>aschmille2</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:37pm<b>HeroofWinds1</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Shannonbena</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:15am<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:25pm<b>LifeKeepsGoingOn</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:27am<b>lalundsten</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:24am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:41am<b>ShooperShweggy</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:52am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:42pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:27pm<b>krisse876</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:46am<b>TrimKibbles</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:14pm<b>johndog699</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:05pm<b>llalala</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 2:41am

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>nickster3</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:31pm

Metzler31's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Metzler31's badges

Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54649) - you deserved it (5006)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36858) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14059) - you deserved it (60973)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (38184)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (29791)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (7046)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34659) - you deserved it (3215)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

#16182732
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (17090)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Username - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

#15855723
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15481) - you deserved it (24458)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (2958)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (6862)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (32149)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32873) - you deserved it (4149)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (4220)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)



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