Metzler31

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Offline (the 07/14/2016 at 2:54am)

Metzler31

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6666
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 47 posted

About Metzler31 : 20 years old from Philadelphia

Metzler31's page activity

Visits<b>derplogic</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 6:04pm<b>vsus98</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 12:15pm<b>_kevinkim</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 11:04pm<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 4:28pm<b>JetCyclone27</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 7:21pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:06pm<b>Host2phats</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:48pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Montjo</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:56pm<b>carpenoctern</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 8:06am<b>Kidd_Ant</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 2:34pm<b>danzam98</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:02pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:41am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:01pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:35pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:35pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:23pm<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:14pm

Fucked!<b>StupidUsername89</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:08pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:19pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>nickster3</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:31pm

Metzler31's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Metzler31's badges

Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

by patrickalamo / 06/14/2011 at 10:23am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

by KittenTime / 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

by Username / 05/15/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

by JenniWearsPrada / 04/20/2011 at 4:27am / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

by Amy / 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

by notsosmart / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health