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Metzler31

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 6:52am) | Search for a member

Metzler31

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4304
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About Metzler31 : 17 years old from Philadelphia

Metzler31's page activity

Visits<b>Vagbones</b> - yesterday at 3:23pm<b>0to100realquick</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:43am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:58pm<b>notfat14</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:03pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:43pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:18am<b>pleasedas</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:00am<b>CptHeinz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:16am<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Mr_Ziza</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:50pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:48pm<b>tayymeds</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:53am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:41pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:17am<b>xxrebelsxx</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:50am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:15pm<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:48am<b>Luke1787</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:08am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10236) - you deserved it (43118)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51143) - you deserved it (4736)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (4487)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (57891)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13948) - you deserved it (35756)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16428) - you deserved it (27798)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (6979)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (3077)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

#16182732
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30520) - you deserved it (16100)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Username - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

#15855723
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (22484)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (2936)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37164) - you deserved it (31502)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (3974)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)



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