Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Metzler31

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 8:58pm) | Search for a member

Metzler31

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4494
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 46 posted

About Metzler31 : 17 years old from Philadelphia

Metzler31's page activity

Visits<b>nickster3</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:30am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:08am<b>Smellyy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:48am<b>Vagbones</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:23pm<b>0to100realquick</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:43am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:58pm<b>notfat14</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:03pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:43pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:18am<b>pleasedas</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:00am<b>CptHeinz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:16am<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Mr_Ziza</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:50pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:48pm<b>tayymeds</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:53am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:41pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:17am<b>xxrebelsxx</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:50am

Liked!<b>nickster3</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:31pm

Metzler31's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Metzler31's badges

Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12136) - you deserved it (25791)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (3306)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (2860)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (5862)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27300) - you deserved it (3901)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8440) - you deserved it (54854)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (6766)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25245) - you deserved it (7723)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12275) - you deserved it (27369)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12275) - you deserved it (27369)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (4120)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML

#18974357
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (2442)

On 02/02/2012 at 2:07am - kids - by Insomniac (woman) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (3569)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

#18891516
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2829)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: