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Metzler31

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Metzler31
  • Town/Country : Philadelphia, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 January 1996 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1733
  • Number of comments : 208
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About Metzler31 : Ummm nothing that you really need to know....

I live near Philadelphia.

I have a house at the Jersey Shore where I go during the summer.

I root for all the Philadelphia teams (Eagles, Phillies, Flyers, Sixers) and for St. Joseph's University for college basketball. The hawk will never die!

I'm a sophomore in high school, and I go to a private school outside of Philly.

I once had an FML posted (actually twice now) but they were fake and somehow got removed :(

And I'm using this on the iPhone app so if I don't answer your message for a while, that's why. But I eventually will.

Metzler31's last visitors

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Metzler31's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (5885) - you deserved it (893)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML

#18974357 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you deserved it (652)

On 02/02/2012 at 2:07am - kids - by Insomniac (woman) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (1011)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (6923) - you deserved it (705)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (12114) - you deserved it (1215)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (4334)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (34875) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (18972) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

#17893570 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (1803)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

#17847729 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (10756) - you deserved it (1792)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (7385) - you deserved it (4380)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (10415) - you deserved it (876)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2164)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (12082) - you deserved it (2680)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (19531) - you deserved it (1682)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)