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Metroskydiver

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Metroskydiver

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Metroskydiver : You are reading this... Why ?

Metroskydiver's page activity

Visits<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:23pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Mr_Quinten</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 12:15pm<b>LivexForever21</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 5:37pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:39pm<b>Lisee92</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:22pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:44pm<b>danilols689</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 9:51am<b>philipino</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 12:19pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 9:37am<b>xxblmpknxx</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:36pm<b>Pixela7</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 11:23pm<b>CrimsonAmaryllis</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 5:48am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 6:08pm

Metroskydiver's FML badges

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Metroskydiver's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51726) - you deserved it (11182)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76059) - you deserved it (3700)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65650) - you deserved it (18718)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55897) - you deserved it (32892)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56352) - you deserved it (4768)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54712) - you deserved it (7019)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48633) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (9254)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (5483)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34778) - you deserved it (11613)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50290) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33460) - you deserved it (24703)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (5287)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (2420)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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