About Metallica36176 : I try to find something in every subject I like...so Im kind of easy to get along with. Anything that has to do with Zelda gets an instant like/thumb up. Like if your username, profile pic, or comment has anything to do with it - instant like. :) The only thing I hate about FML is proof that people are assholes. I hate when people are mean for no reason whatsoever. It pisses me off to see some asshole reply to a comment with a stupid smartass remark such as "No. Just no." People have the right to comment but just stop being dicks. Now if they are being that way first and deserve it cool, but there is no reason to just be an ass.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (15300)
On 08/10/2009 at 12:25am - animals - by Entheatus (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42917) - you deserved it (9716)
On 06/27/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by LoLLightning (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73701) - you deserved it (15150)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64353) - you deserved it (4192)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58513) - you deserved it (3231)
On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65889) - you deserved it (163112)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45727) - you deserved it (9247)
On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (15556)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (144769) - you deserved it (8113)
On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (85319)
On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45724) - you deserved it (23921)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74709) - you deserved it (21208)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (35691)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71442) - you deserved it (16796)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42626) - you deserved it (4531)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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