About Metallica36176 : I try to find something in every subject I like...so Im kind of easy to get along with. Anything that has to do with Zelda gets an instant like/thumb up. Like if your username, profile pic, or comment has anything to do with it - instant like. :) The only thing I hate about FML is proof that people are assholes. I hate when people are mean for no reason whatsoever. It pisses me off to see some asshole reply to a comment with a stupid smartass remark such as "No. Just no." People have the right to comment but just stop being dicks. Now if they are being that way first and deserve it cool, but there is no reason to just be an ass.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (5789)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (5789)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (2812)
On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (30372)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (5193)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45606) - you deserved it (3601)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17542) - you deserved it (12011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (41031) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11151) - you deserved it (27796)
On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15164) - you deserved it (7500)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (4822)
On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (1957)
On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)
Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (8423)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (12869)
On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)
Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (1976)
On 06/23/2011 at 4:17am - work - by luroluro - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
