Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Metallica36176 : I try to find something in every subject I like...so Im kind of easy to get along with. Anything that has to do with Zelda gets an instant like/thumb up. Like if your username, profile pic, or comment has anything to do with it - instant like. :) The only thing I hate about FML is proof that people are assholes. I hate when people are mean for no reason whatsoever. It pisses me off to see some asshole reply to a comment with a stupid smartass remark such as "No. Just no." People have the right to comment but just stop being dicks. Now if they are being that way first and deserve it cool, but there is no reason to just be an ass.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
Friday 18 July 2014