Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Metallica36176

Search for a member

Metallica36176

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 September 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2704
  • Number of comments : 551
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Metallica36176 : I try to find something in every subject I like...so Im kind of easy to get along with. Anything that has to do with Zelda gets an instant like/thumb up. Like if your username, profile pic, or comment has anything to do with it - instant like. :) The only thing I hate about FML is proof that people are assholes. I hate when people are mean for no reason whatsoever. It pisses me off to see some asshole reply to a comment with a stupid smartass remark such as "No. Just no." People have the right to comment but just stop being dicks. Now if they are being that way first and deserve it cool, but there is no reason to just be an ass.

Metallica36176's page activity

Visits<b>marcusaa</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:02am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Ruhruhruhrudy</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:23am<b>robby9917</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:34am<b>tennisman5</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Shad0wjack</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:48pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:05am<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:18pm<b>JJ_V3N0M</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:41am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 10:09am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 5:59pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:13am<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:26pm<b>getrekt</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:45am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 7:21pm<b>justinccp</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:57am<b>gallaeo</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:15am

Metallica36176's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Metallica36176's badges

Metallica36176's favorite FMLs

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (3622)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18153) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

#20156480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17817) - you deserved it (1550)

On 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm - kids - by jan420 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18230) - you deserved it (861)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24086) - you deserved it (6160)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2007)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8690) - you deserved it (49086)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (4252)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15961) - you deserved it (1687)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (1930)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (4660)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6588) - you deserved it (54679)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (1695)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: