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MeltedBrain's favorite FMLs
by kmtau / 11/09/2016 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I work as an assistant to a sculptor. We finished all our projects early so his wife decided to have me clean their kitchen. I wasn't paying attention and picked up a dead mouse. I screamed and threw it away as hard as I could. It hit their five-year-old son in the face. FML
by timetraveler1854 / 11/02/2016 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
by pantless / 10/23/2016 at 5:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML
by not eyelid / 09/20/2016 at 3:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Transportation
by bigbaby / 09/16/2016 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by left alone / 08/29/2016 at 8:46am / United States (New York) / Work
by Raptorcake / 08/15/2016 at 8:50am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Holidays
by Uh_Oh_Bro / 07/24/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by LacrosseFAIL / 07/16/2016 at 6:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML
by fuckel4 / 07/01/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife… Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML Today, after 6 months of university, sex was finally had in my bed. Unfortunately, I had no part in…