Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Melix

Online | Search for a member

Melix

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1785
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Melix : Raggedy man, goodnight.

Kidneys! I have new kidneys! I don't like the color.

Melix's page activity

Visits<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:00pm<b>DansDragon</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:42am<b>NothernNightmare</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:03pm<b>hayleyy_silver</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:06pm<b>shea300</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:24am<b>Cavenyanson</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:41am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:12pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Owlnation99</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:52pm<b>doesntmatterx</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:07am<b>JigokuShoujo87</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:44pm<b>manlytarts</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:09am<b>utrax</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:30am<b>sapoi99</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:27am<b>Pikachu12</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:05pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:50pm<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:13am<b>claudia19801811</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:47pm

Liked!<b>claudia19801811</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>mollypop35</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:48pm<b>yaybutter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:18am

Melix's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Melix's badges

Melix's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51627) - you deserved it (11561)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (5321)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (5575)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (3092)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51159) - you deserved it (5311)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43200) - you deserved it (4409)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (49708)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44337) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36592) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

#20899473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (2533)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46549) - you deserved it (4616)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35510) - you deserved it (5060)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55889) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40139) - you deserved it (2760)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: