Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Meixpr

Search for a member

Meixpr
  • Town/Country : Puerto Rico, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 929
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Meixpr : Regarding my profile picture, that monkey cost 250 tickets in the arcade. Perhaps I should've written an FML.

Meixpr's last visitors

Shiningstartpcrimsonlover4IntoTheCloudslmc94PrincessPesaNoorFMLKeyman1212The_Trollersjhill

Meixpr's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Meixpr's badges

Meixpr's favorite FMLs

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you deserved it (26050)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (21125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (2261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (6870)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57868) - you deserved it (8292)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (7644)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you deserved it (48229)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56401) - you deserved it (3656)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58993) - you deserved it (30947)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113197) - you deserved it (6686)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (106370)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (342071) - you deserved it (40724)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82161) - you deserved it (30303)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
850 comments

I agree, your life sucks (275586) - you deserved it (23242)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: