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About MeganPomietlo : You Are Suffering From What Is Commonly Known As Raving Madness.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50126) - you deserved it (2484)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (9232)
On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (2238)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (2478)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58038) - you deserved it (7832)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43098) - you deserved it (2878)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (33726)
On 07/30/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by solomantis (man) - Norway (Oslo) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (9444)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47714) - you deserved it (20013)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45400) - you deserved it (20574)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (20706)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (92120)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (78436)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (154982) - you deserved it (19186)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob (I don't normally do it because I have a fear of getting squirt in the eye). Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bite the wrong spot and get lemon juice shot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (64840)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
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