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MeganDoe

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MeganDoe

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  • Number of visits : 69
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MeganDoe's favorite FMLs

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15747) - you deserved it (31357)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (4461)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12074) - you deserved it (37237)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (3230)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44940) - you deserved it (5781)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (3184)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (7178)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40489) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (2973)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12138) - you deserved it (30734)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (4629)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (4016)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (2855)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45473) - you deserved it (5934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version



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