Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MeganDalek

Search for a member

MeganDalek
  • Town/Country : Memphis, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 307
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MeganDalek's last visitors

Ian_from_0070DruuIntoTheClouds

MeganDalek's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of MeganDalek's badges

MeganDalek's favorite FMLs

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (3913)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47365) - you deserved it (5031)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41234) - you deserved it (5940)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53034) - you deserved it (4599)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37522) - you deserved it (2968)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43063) - you deserved it (3051)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (7673)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28836) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51659) - you deserved it (5416)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66191) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

#20897664
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (2568)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:04am - work - by pancakessdsjsn - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61861) - you deserved it (5023)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52041) - you deserved it (4046)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72316) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: