McZeal

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McZeal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22065
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About McZeal : I keep it real.

McZeal's page activity

Visits<b>Dolcetto</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:36pm<b>ced443</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:29pm<b>bjnono001</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:58am<b>Nusa1</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 4:01am<b>Tatties</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:53am<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 1:34pm<b>JTheDOn</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 8:00pm<b>KINGLOMP32</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 7:31pm<b>bsw001</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 3:19pm<b>kell710</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 11:13pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 9:54am<b>Masta_Blasta</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 4:48am<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 4:24pm<b>Kevanns</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:55am<b>chubs</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:20am<b>maddog</b> - the 03/27/2009 at 10:36am<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 1:43pm

McZeal's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

McZeal's favorite FMLs

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

by Heifer / 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

by notacreep / 05/16/2009 at 4:39am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

by jayden5 / 05/15/2009 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

by NotSoCool / 05/15/2009 at 12:41am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous