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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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McZeal

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McZeal
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 November 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 16558
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About McZeal : I keep it real.

McZeal's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

McZeal's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

#2592109 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (5947) - you deserved it (49239)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by NoNaMe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

#2590991 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (33842) - you deserved it (12872)

On 06/04/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by ether10 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

#2563326 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (9648)

On 06/03/2009 at 11:16am - kids - by rollerSWEETness (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

#2557919 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (51295) - you deserved it (19075)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (13393) - you deserved it (40976)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my high school graduation. I brought my camera to capture these last memories, only to discover that the batteries were dead. When I got home and went to change them, I realized they were not dead, they were just put in the wrong way. FML

#2556811 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (9671) - you deserved it (37033)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by keifer13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729 (452)

I agree, your life sucks (51704) - you deserved it (10822)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (72706) - you deserved it (5139)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (55463) - you deserved it (4212)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

#2526710 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

#2513205 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (47389) - you deserved it (23525)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (51231) - you deserved it (2298)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (16542) - you deserved it (45297)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (93851) - you deserved it (4275)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (14276) - you deserved it (34435)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)