About MathildeDamm : Im a girl from Denmark. I love music especially Taylor Swift, MCR, Green Day, BVB, FIR, T.a.t.U, The Ministry of Magic and Enya. My interests are reading stuff like HarryPotter, Lord of the Rings/ The Hobbit, drawing, writing poems and songs, listening to music and playing guitar, piano, harpe and ukulele. I also sing. I'm dling very good in school, but there are a lot of jackasses in my class, thereor I have absolutely no friends that I have met irl but my lovely cat, Vega. FML.
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MathildeDamm's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by poolgirl789 / 09/03/2013 at 2:30am / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy
Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML
by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML
by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 7:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by fviz / 02/07/2013 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
by dating a manchild / 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love
by lalanon / 04/03/2009 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he… Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at… Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He…