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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (33189)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10211) - you deserved it (41912)
On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57958) - you deserved it (11005)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66158) - you deserved it (16285)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77124) - you deserved it (4577)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60768) - you deserved it (6639)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by Person (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59316) - you deserved it (144003)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (99483)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52583) - you deserved it (6532)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81659) - you deserved it (15872)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53484) - you deserved it (5788)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14952) - you deserved it (55824)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63780) - you deserved it (2241)
On 04/21/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
I agree, your life sucks (74125) - you deserved it (2571)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (80916) - you deserved it (16584)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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