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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Marysenjo

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Marysenjo
  • Town/Country : Zürich, Switzerland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 October 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 26526
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Marysenjo : i'm a pro at f*ing up my life.

Marysenjo's last visitors

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Marysenjo's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (13237)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (49272) - you deserved it (4149)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you deserved it (14883)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

#1665462 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (6252)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

#1659307 (377)

I agree, your life sucks (149265) - you deserved it (30025)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (57444) - you deserved it (6116)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (41763)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

#1221446 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (4622)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (50592) - you deserved it (4433)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (45480) - you deserved it (3367)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a shower after a run. We were under a tornado watch, and I halfway through the lights dimmed and I heard the tell-tale "train" sound. Panicked, I bolted wet and naked for the basement, crashing into my mom as I flew out the door. The sound was just her new vacuuming. FML

#1194699 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (36179) - you deserved it (9515)

On 04/21/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

#1192993 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (63367) - you deserved it (2190)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (86205) - you deserved it (2543)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

#1187593 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (44703) - you deserved it (6715)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at the gynocologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

#1153629 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (59507) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)