Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Martha97

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Martha97

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 178
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Martha97's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 3:22am<b>S4ssyK4t</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 11:09am

Martha97's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Martha97's badges

Martha97's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (3415)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224) - you deserved it (11135)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (4339)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44414) - you deserved it (6596)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49183) - you deserved it (21257)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (4524)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51056) - you deserved it (11813)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44306) - you deserved it (8287)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (6496)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

#21173638
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41756) - you deserved it (5419)

On 06/13/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46452) - you deserved it (5581)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40186) - you deserved it (4280)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44657) - you deserved it (20228)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: