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Marissa1586's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Marissa1586's favorite FMLs
by Sally / 12/26/2011 at 6:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
by Colton / 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by mo / 12/19/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 5:09am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
by Une Fille / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by mademoiselleaus / 12/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia / Work
Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML
by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work
by smileytheface / 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…