Marissa1586

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Offline (the 01/04/2014 at 5:06am)

Marissa1586

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 May 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4133
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Marissa1586's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:43pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:49am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:30am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:49pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:40pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:31am<b>Bambibot</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 3:30pm<b>rob02</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 6:31am<b>Roulios</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 4:48pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 6:58pm<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 2:31am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 11:12pm<b>neverdrinkSODA</b> - the 11/25/2012 at 1:31am<b>loyeah</b> - the 07/13/2012 at 10:43pm<b>MiSsNiKiTa</b> - the 07/08/2012 at 12:47am<b>paco1021</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 12:53am

Marissa1586's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Marissa1586's badges

Marissa1586's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

by Sally / 12/26/2011 at 6:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

by Colton / 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

by mo / 12/19/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 5:09am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

by Une Fille / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

by smileytheface / 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation