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Marissa1586

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Marissa1586
  • Town/Country : Plymouth, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1456
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Marissa1586's last visitors

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Marissa1586's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Marissa1586's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

#18614402
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (4957)

On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14629) - you deserved it (37001)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7691) - you deserved it (40991)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (6067)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (11846)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13688) - you deserved it (36468)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (2537)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

#18443890
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (6550)

On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
97 comments

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (1645)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (5755)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)



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