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Marissa1586's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Marissa1586's favorite FMLs
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
by anonomous / 04/07/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Intimacy
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
by Gemma / 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Cpt Colin / 01/03/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
by mark / 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Intimacy
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by ikungfuyou / 12/27/2011 at 2:11am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…