This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (16527)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13286) - you deserved it (34156)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28315) - you deserved it (1879)
On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9917) - you deserved it (27632)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (2015)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (28383)
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (1925)
On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (20212)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3940)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (24161)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43612) - you deserved it (7674)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (6306)
On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (7192)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
