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Marissa1586's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Marissa1586's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy
by Hypocrisy / 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2008 at 4:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous
by mocass’1 / 10/13/2008 at 4:19am / France / Love
- Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…