About MarillAzul : Pokenerd with little to no life. Anything else?
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MarillAzul's favorite FMLs
Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous
by fail / 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Health
by embarrassed / 12/20/2010 at 9:51am / United States / Work
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
by chi-huaHUA / 12/04/2010 at 2:08am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals
Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML
by Myself / 09/06/2010 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Brandon / 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML
by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…