MariahMurderr

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MariahMurderr

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 787
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MariahMurderr : Lol I like to have fun and party.
Sooo, stop creepin(:

MariahMurderr's page activity

Visits<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 1:29pm<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 4:49am<b>PHP</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 4:27pm<b>momo3p</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 3:29pm<b>alexfbrz</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:45pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:46pm<b>mogliee</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:47pm<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:42am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:12am<b>getindoe69</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:17pm<b>feven</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 9:00am<b>Isak366</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:27am<b>Karennnx</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:33am<b>EvoLove</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 2:05am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:32am<b>enter______name</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:16pm

Fucked!<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:29pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:12am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:33am

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MariahMurderr's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Kids

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

by CheddarJack89 / 12/01/2012 at 3:35am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

by JStein / 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health