Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mama_Umbridge

Search for a member

Mama_Umbridge

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1324
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Mama_Umbridge : Its me, yer mama!!!

I am woman! Hear me SMASH!!!!

Mama_Umbridge's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:03am<b>penguinhalo</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:30pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:50pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:25pm<b>quinny_1024</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:00pm<b>winter_under_ice</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Nederlander95</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:59am<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 5:39pm<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:47am<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:13pm<b>threer</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:42am<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 1:29am<b>spiers1</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:49pm<b>faeryofshalott</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 6:07pm<b>Unkn_wn0</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 10:44am<b>annie29</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:13pm<b>subgub2222</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 9:19pm

Mama_Umbridge's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Mama_Umbridge's badges

Mama_Umbridge's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28208) - you deserved it (5366)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML

#19877296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18745) - you deserved it (7128)

On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (4210)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12736) - you deserved it (43064)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18488) - you deserved it (3101)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22177) - you deserved it (9325)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7707) - you deserved it (25148)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (59984)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: