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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarrior

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Chapel Hill, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4003
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MaltWarrior's page activity

Visits<b>tnlander</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:33pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:56am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:11am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:43pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:32am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:40am<b>jmon707</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Sarahch</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:49pm<b>henrylikestreats</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:57am<b>Lola26042002</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:21am<b>warsun</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 8:11am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:44pm<b>ziggysmommy201</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:34pm<b>alexaramayo</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:47am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:35pm<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:01am<b>wjsgkrbs</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:48pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:30pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:41am

MaltWarrior's FML badges

Socialite

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of MaltWarrior's badges

MaltWarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34188) - you deserved it (5299)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32959) - you deserved it (5563)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (35876)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (4687)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47936) - you deserved it (3577) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (17491)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32442) - you deserved it (5498)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (3712)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (9004)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12008) - you deserved it (29927)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50516) - you deserved it (4848)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML



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