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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarrior

8Fucked!

MaltWarriorMaltWarrior
  • Town/Country : Chapel Hill, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5373
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MaltWarrior's page activity

Visits<b>Stonebraker</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Jon123M</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:04am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:16pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:42am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:50am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 2:18pm<b>SK8WITME</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:46pm<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:30pm<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:28pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 11:08pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:39pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 2:10pm<b>WilliamRobbins</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:14pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Razor011</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:08am<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 3:02am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:33pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:29am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:25pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:41am

MaltWarrior's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of MaltWarrior's badges

MaltWarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (69380)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (3622)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54871) - you deserved it (5736)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50280) - you deserved it (8964)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45930) - you deserved it (7089)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44183) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (5063)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45799) - you deserved it (4122)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45430) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47507) - you deserved it (4176)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61445) - you deserved it (3703)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42739) - you deserved it (3630)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53309) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52935) - you deserved it (6883)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)



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