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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarriorMaltWarrior
  • Town/Country : Chapel Hill, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5337
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MaltWarrior's page activity

Visits<b>Stonebraker</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Jon123M</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:04am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:16pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:42am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:50am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 2:18pm<b>SK8WITME</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:46pm<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:30pm<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:28pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 11:08pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:39pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 2:10pm<b>WilliamRobbins</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:14pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Razor011</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:08am<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 3:02am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:33pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:29am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:25pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:41am

MaltWarrior's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of MaltWarrior's badges

MaltWarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (10953)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42893) - you deserved it (8652) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44875) - you deserved it (8353)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51567) - you deserved it (10392)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (12878)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (36285) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41816) - you deserved it (5478)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (7692)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44295) - you deserved it (4109)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43903) - you deserved it (6654)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (13653)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (8366) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (6129)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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