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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarrior

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1657
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MaltWarrior's page activity

Visits<b>sleepybb</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:26pm<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:02pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:36pm<b>PDN</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:19pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:12am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:05am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:34am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:05am<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:37pm<b>secretgirlfriend</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:26pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:10pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:28am<b>redrobbey</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:01am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:22pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:20pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:57am<b>BabyFranco</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:47am

MaltWarrior's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of MaltWarrior's badges

MaltWarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (11816)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (33575) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (7134)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (6277)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (12488)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41578) - you deserved it (7866) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (5715)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (63669)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51124) - you deserved it (5309)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46975) - you deserved it (8454)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)



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