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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarriorMaltWarrior
  • Town/Country : Chapel Hill, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5340
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MaltWarrior's page activity

Visits<b>Stonebraker</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Jon123M</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:04am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:16pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:42am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:50am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 2:18pm<b>SK8WITME</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:46pm<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:30pm<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:28pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 11:08pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:39pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 2:10pm<b>WilliamRobbins</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:14pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Razor011</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:08am<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 3:02am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:33pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:29am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:25pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:41am

MaltWarrior's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

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MaltWarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

#21472629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by Thai that on for size (woman) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML

#21471391
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (1715)

On 09/22/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by gotmilk? - United States (Florida)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (10248)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (3169)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22565) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

#21439756
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37535) - you deserved it (1958)

On 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

#21428964
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (2675)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:45am - love - by ugh - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32436) - you deserved it (3391)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (2725)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (2673)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (5797)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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