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MaltWarrior

Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 3:56am) | Search for a member

MaltWarrior

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2513
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MaltWarrior's page activity

Visits<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:01am<b>wjsgkrbs</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:48pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:30pm<b>sleepybb</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:26pm<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:02pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:36pm<b>PDN</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:19pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:12am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:05am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:34am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:05am<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:37pm<b>secretgirlfriend</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:26pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:10pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:28am<b>redrobbey</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:01am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:22pm

MaltWarrior's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of MaltWarrior's badges

MaltWarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (3823)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (4480)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43818) - you deserved it (5295)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (6047)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42921) - you deserved it (9388) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (5018)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35182) - you deserved it (11512)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44307) - you deserved it (8289)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42452) - you deserved it (4253)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42598) - you deserved it (4402)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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