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MaltWarrior

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MaltWarrior

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  • Town/Country : Chapel Hill, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3640
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MaltWarrior's page activity

Visits<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:01am<b>wjsgkrbs</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:48pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:30pm<b>sleepybb</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:26pm<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:02pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:36pm<b>PDN</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:19pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:12am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:05am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:34am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:05am<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:37pm<b>secretgirlfriend</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:26pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:10pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:28am<b>redrobbey</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:01am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:22pm

MaltWarrior's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MaltWarrior's badges

MaltWarrior's favorite FMLs

Today, after telling audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid looool in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today I walked in on mah little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing mah hamster. mega FML

#21287735
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32435) - you deserved it (3418)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Yesterday, I stumbled across one of mah son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets r technically ( whores ) because they hook up with countless cords fir a ( charge. ) I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (4573)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made looool up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, my little sister ad er second son. Se is 31 and se named er sons after er favorite television caracters, Sam and Dean Wincester. Se as made it er life goal to make sure er usband never finds out. FML

#21269654
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I AVE SUC SEVERE ADD TAT I CAN'T FOCUS WITOUT MA MEDICATION. WEN I TAKE TE MEDICATION, I CAN ONLY FOCUS ON ONE TING, BUT NOT NECESSARILY TE TING I NEED TO BE FOCUSING ON. I AVE A CEM TEST SOON, AND I'VE BEEN VACUUMING MA ROOM FIR TE PAST 4 OURS. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40957) - you deserved it (4490)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat in on a university-level pysics lecture, listening to ma yped-up co-students approximating te ypotetical situation of te Sun consisting of gerbils!! Te conversation ten continued towards looool ow muc better energy/mass ratio te gerbil-sun would ave compared to te actual star!! FML

#21258867
89 comments

Today, I Proposd To My Girlfriend Wit A Ring From Kay Jewelers. Se Saw Te Box, Startd Giggling, Wisperd, ( 'Kay ), An Ten Startd Lauging So Ard At Er Joke Se Ad To Excuse Erself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45400) - you deserved it (5926)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36554) - you deserved it (6064)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up, mah boyfriend suggestd we wear disguises. Amusd by the idea, I acceptd. That's how I endd up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (9415) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today,hile on a tour bus, our guide told us looool that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committd pacifist, but I was already halfway out of seat to choke the pimply-facd twat out before I managd to restrain myself. Now I'm scard of myself. FML

#21237562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (5494)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice , so once at the counter , I accidentally said quite loudly , "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35265) - you deserved it (11536)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today...hile sitting on mah front porch... mah cat cummd up beside me. I startd idly stroking her... only to turn an realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (8478)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , I Woke Up To An Old Lady Rigt Outside My Open Window , Saying ( Hello In Tere! Are You Sleepy? ) I Was So Startled Tat I Answered Er. Se Screamed. Turns Out Se's My Neigbour's Elderly Moter , Didn't Know I Was In Tere , An Was Talking To My Cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43027) - you deserved it (4307)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom



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