Mailman2121

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Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 1:04am)

Mailman2121

0Fucked!

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  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 357
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mailman2121's page activity

Visits<b>didioffendubruh</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:27am<b>Marcella1016</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:34am<b>batah</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:46am<b>Axel5238</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:56pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:25am<b>meli1195</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 2:15am<b>stryggzy</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 3:30pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 12:55pm<b>laden_swallow09</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 10:18am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:23pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 6:41pm

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Mailman2121's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

by RosesAreRed / 02/15/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

by NotJessePinkmanFFS / 09/10/2012 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

by inpain / 12/02/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

by noraidk / 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

by grem / 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm / United States / Kids