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Mahtari

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Mahtari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8557
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mahtari : I'm filthy.

Mahtari's page activity

Visits<b>Supersid333</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:09pm<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 1:54am<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:49am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 4:15pm<b>hamzor</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:28pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:43pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:28pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:40am<b>STOspartan</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:03pm<b>CHabib</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 12:18am<b>shmaowzow</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:25pm<b>nicole_is_bunny</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 8:06am<b>talesoftheold</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 6:09am<b>stay18k</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>Rainbow_dumpster</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 6:41am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:11pm<b>Link5794</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 11:27am<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:17am

Mahtari's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Mahtari's badges

Mahtari's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37324) - you deserved it (4099)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32423) - you deserved it (10452)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46462) - you deserved it (9057)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53728) - you deserved it (4711)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52482) - you deserved it (5001)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40402) - you deserved it (12130)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38405) - you deserved it (2828)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (16249)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

#21094457
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (4263)

On 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46139) - you deserved it (6001)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (3450)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56212) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67454) - you deserved it (5298)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41675) - you deserved it (4489)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States



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