About Mahtari : I shitpost and pretend to be Japanese.
Mahtari's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mahtari's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
by UnSupported / 08/14/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 10:18am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Work
Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 4:56am / Malawi / Miscellaneous
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML
by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML
by mister_pinky / 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML
by BrewPack / 07/13/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health