About Mahtari
I shitpost and pretend to be Japanese.
Mahtari - Followers
Mahtari - Followed
Mahtari's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    13%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    2%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    14%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    92%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
The list of badges to find
Mahtari's favorite FMLs

Today, during an interview, I was given a list of items and asked which items I would take to a deserted island. When I chose a Bible, the interviewer asked why. I replied, "So I can burn it." What I meant to say was, "So I can use it to start a fire if the trees on the island bear fruit." FML

By Why Is It Always Me - / Tuesday 21 February 2017 12:00 / Canada - Calgary

Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML

By Idiot - / Wednesday 22 February 2017 04:00 / United States - Anchorage

Not so anal retentive then…

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 3 February 2017 22:00 / United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

By imafunguy - / Friday 5 October 2012 00:28 / United States

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

By Dave - / Thursday 4 October 2012 14:44 / United States