About Mahtari : I shitpost and pretend to be Japanese.
Mahtari's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mahtari's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 11:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML
by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
by a critically injured shitehawk / 04/25/2015 at 6:34am / United Kingdom (York) / Love
Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 2:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by sam882 / 02/23/2015 at 1:49am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by tipmeover / 01/28/2015 at 8:09am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML
by cakestar9 / 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm / Ireland (Clare) / Love
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML
by bridezilla / 12/31/2014 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy
by jesspacheco27 / 12/15/2014 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML
by dating a moron / 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML
by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids