Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mahtari

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

Mahtari

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3557
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mahtari : I'm filthy.

Mahtari's page activity

Visits<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:49am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 4:15pm<b>hamzor</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:28pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:43pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:28pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:40am<b>STOspartan</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:03pm<b>CHabib</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 12:18am<b>shmaowzow</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:25pm<b>nicole_is_bunny</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 8:06am<b>talesoftheold</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 6:09am<b>stay18k</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>Rainbow_dumpster</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 6:41am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:11pm<b>Link5794</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 11:27am<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:17am<b>AgniKai</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:10am<b>maosquare</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 9:07pm

Mahtari's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Mahtari's badges

Mahtari's favorite FMLs

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (5185)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (3672)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (2215)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6315) - you deserved it (36677)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40983) - you deserved it (3619)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (20810)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12864) - you deserved it (25049)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (1338)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21421) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (10911)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (44206)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11456) - you deserved it (23825)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: