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MacOSXpert's favorite FMLs
Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML
by screwed / 01/04/2010 at 12:29am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by loser / 01/03/2010 at 7:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2010 at 2:50am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
by Laughluv / 01/02/2010 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
by ParanoidFreak / 12/31/2009 at 4:31am / United States (South Carolina) / Transportation
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
by lois2lane / 12/23/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Van / 12/20/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
by samgonzalessb / 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML
by prince-charming / 11/07/2009 at 5:12am / Kuwait / Work
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML
by MickeyDManager / 08/03/2009 at 11:08am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
- Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally… Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing… Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass…
- Today, being a nurse's daughter, I got used to get rid of my pimples by the use of needles. I never… Today, my boyfriend made a day trip see me at my university. My roommate wasn't there so we decided… Today, while brushing my teeth I felt something snap and spat out a huge tooth fragment. Only after…