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MacOSXpert's favorite FMLs
by Jeri / 02/12/2010 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
by NotSoSick / 02/12/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML
by unknown002 / 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML
by HellaBomber91 / 02/11/2010 at 3:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He gushed on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML
by Prodigy / 02/11/2010 at 9:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating in the food court at the mall by myself but then a cute guy from my school offers to sit by me, I say yes of course, he then asks me for a french fry. Later on I realize he has eaten half my meal. He only wanted to sit by me for my food. FML
by purpledp12 / 02/11/2010 at 4:12am / United States / Love
by Misty3242 / 02/06/2010 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Kids
by LynnJ / 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML
by doggie_doo_face / 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
by hickey / 02/05/2010 at 5:35am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML
by Ewwwwww / 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
by littlespoon / 02/04/2010 at 3:40am / United States (Oregon) / Health
- Today, we were given an essay topic in English. The assignment involves us picking a politician by… Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because… Today, I play softball and we use eye black because it helps block out the glare. I sat down at my…