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MacOSXpert

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MacOSXpert

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About MacOSXpert : I'm the MacOSXpert! 
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MacOSXpert's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

#8597104
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (3917)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm - health - by Stress (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (5244)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (5244)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (6722)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (2741)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3884) - you deserved it (53261)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

#8499818
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by Will - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

#8232410
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (2008)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by disneyworld (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

#8207424
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (4219)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:39pm - kids - by gordy1220 (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37829) - you deserved it (3362)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (4204)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

#8162555
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (4260)

On 02/12/2010 at 9:14am - love - by JustMyLuck (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22614) - you deserved it (2675)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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