Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MacOSXpert

Offline (the 01/29/2014 at 10:07am) | Search for a member

MacOSXpert

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2588
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MacOSXpert : I'm the MacOSXpert! 
But you can call me Macsy for short.
Not my real info of course!

MacOSXpert's page activity

Visits<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:33pm<b>10th_Man</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:08am<b>Azalea18</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:29am<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:28pm<b>belleboleyn</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:31am<b>xXchaoskingXx</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 4:11pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:19am<b>shadowdragon0820</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 12:30pm<b>piggybits</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 9:54pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:09pm<b>brony_boy</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:27am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 10:43am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:15am<b>glittermxdwrknrl</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:16pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:52pm<b>Replicakes</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 4:02am<b>BerserkDragon</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:38pm<b>EnderOfGame</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 5:06pm

MacOSXpert's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of MacOSXpert's badges

MacOSXpert's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

#17023806
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (5986)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (10794)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52453) - you deserved it (16510)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40699) - you deserved it (4042)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (5562)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (10591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

#16932993
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (4057)

On 07/01/2011 at 4:49am - intimacy - by ljcxo17 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31056) - you deserved it (2143)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML

#8892224
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

#8875865
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (1816)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

#8638968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (2366)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36757) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML

#8615441
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (2406)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:13pm - money - by creditwhore (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (1662)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (2745)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: