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MacOSXpert

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MacOSXpert

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About MacOSXpert : I'm the MacOSXpert! 
But you can call me Macsy for short.
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MacOSXpert's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50924) - you deserved it (5848)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36672) - you deserved it (11907)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42519) - you deserved it (4807)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50769) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (4533)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

#20981341
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (7081) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/05/2013 at 1:52am - animals - by Chatons - Switzerland

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

#20980385
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36625) - you deserved it (14965)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - work - by russianfail - United States (Texas)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (3136)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

#17107042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29758) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:53am - intimacy - by TheGoodTwin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130756) - you deserved it (7328)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73583) - you deserved it (7676)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

#17080368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30252) - you deserved it (12275)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Anonanon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (2892)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

#17027029
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (4632)

On 07/08/2011 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Illinois)



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